I KNOW PAIN!

I'm so tired.  I cried half of the night, prayed the other half  and then cried some more.  I can’t believe he stayed out all night and hasn’t even called.  “God.” I cried out.  I love him so much.  Why can’t he love me like I love him? I just want to be happy! Is that too much to ask?”  I’m so tired of being hurt.  I’m tired of meeting someone and being excited those first few weeks or months only for it to end in disappointment yet again.  “Please hear my cry Oh God!”  I sobbed.  I reached for my journal, my respite from my pain and began to write.  Dear Journal…

I KNOW PAIN...

Aren’t you the one that meets me on cold, rainy nights at the corner of heartbreak and loneliness?
Aren’t you the one that wakes me in the middle of the night after I’ve spent hours crying myself to sleep?
Aren’t you the one that has faithfully shown up after every major accomplishment of my life?
 
Yeah, PAIN, I know you.

Aren’t you the one that interrupts my laughter to remind me that you’re still there?
Aren’t you the one that holds me and loves me in the night only for me to wake up to find you gone home to another?
Aren’t you the one that walked me down the isle on my wedding day, already knowing that he wouldn’t stay?

Yeah, PAIN, I know you.

Aren’t you the one that holds me tightly during the night and rocks me to sleep?
Aren’t you the first one to greet me in the morning when I wake?
Aren’t you the one that rides with me to church on Sundays and waits patiently for me to return from service?
Aren’t you my closest friend?

Yeah, PAIN, I know you.

As the tears streamed down my face, my heart felt as if it was literally being ripped from my chest.  In my mind, I could hear Mama Hattie-Mae saying “Baby, if a man don’t love God, he won’t love you.”
In my spirit, I could hear the Lord saying, “He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds,”

(Psalms 147:3) and He will give me “beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.” (Isaiah 61:3)

Yeah, PAIN, I know you.
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